Lenora:
Every time I hear the ambulance it scares the hell out of me because I’m thinking it is someone I know.
I’m 50 years old and I’m the mother of two daughters. My daughters are smart and amazing and I’m so proud of them. They make me happy. I’m a grandmother and my grandbabies make me happy. Just being with them and being able to be alive, and clean, makes me happy.
I was born in the States, my parents moved us to Canada. I grew up in an alcoholic environment. I was the black sheep in my family. My mother and I were never really close. There was a lot of abuse, physical and mental, as a kid. I live in Prince George now and I’ve been fighting addiction for many years. It’s been crazy. I live in second stage housing and I really like it. It’s helped me be clean for the last 3 years.
It is important to have a safe house. Housing is really important because if you don’t have a proper home or house, it’s not safe. It’s crazy out there and it’s getting crazier. A healthy home is clean, maybe has some security, like a buzzer door, so someone can’t just boot your door in. A healthy home is clean, safe, and in a nice area.
I’m a people person. I believe that there is good in everybody. I don’t judge anybody. I feel good about helping people out, being there for someone who is down and out, letting them know that they’re not alone and that things are okay. Just making someone feel good and not scared or worthless makes me happy.
The way I help people is with a smile on my face and a “hey, hi, how are you?” I start a conversation if I see someone struggling. I’m always like “good morning” or “how are you doing today?”, helping an elder walk across the street – that’s what it looks like for me, just being happy and sharing my happiness with whoever is in my path that very moment. If I can make someone else smile, that makes me feel good.
For me, addiction is chaos. It’s collateral damage. I’ve destroyed myself being sick with HIV and HCV [hepatitis C]. Addiction had a big impact in my family. My parents and my siblings, we don’t talk because I’m pretty much shunned for where I’m at.
My daughters are very supportive. They love me no matter what.
Unconditionally. They don’t judge me. They’re there for me for anything that I need or just loving me unconditionally, not looking down upon me or being embarrassed of me or anything like that. I just thank the good lord they are not following in my footsteps. They’re really supportive.
If everyone treated me the way my daughters treat me, that community would be awesome. Because there shouldn’t be judging and stereotyping people because of a sickness or because they’re on welfare or because they’re HIV+ or because they’re an alcoholic. It’s stupid. There is no reason for it to be like that. We’re all supposed to be equal. We’re all supposed to love our neighbour and it’s not like that anymore. It’s horrible. Once you’re an addict, you don’t stand a chance, really. I’ve been clean for going on four years but that doesn’t matter, that doesn’t get looked at. I’m already labelled a drug addict. I am no good. How can you look at me like that? You don’t even know me. It’s sickening that society is like that.
I’ve seen the way I get treated as soon as the doctor or hospital run my CareCard number: “Oh, drug addict. Go sit down. We’ll get to you later.” It’s just wrong. I’m not that kind of person. I’ve never judged anyone, ever. Some of us have different walks of life, it doesn’t mean we chose to be that way. You just feel empty. Why try, because it doesn’t matter.
Just treat me how I would treat you. No judgement. Know me first, before you make a decision about me. You don’t know me. Take a few minutes to get to know me. The downfalls in my life shouldn’t matter. A lot of us didn’t ask to be in this situation, it just happened to be that way. A lot of us struggle really hard. It’s not easy when you don’t have the support. I would like to be heard. Get to know me – or say you don’t want to get to know me – but don’t look down on me, you don’t even know me. We’re supposed to “love thy neighbour,” “support thy neighbour.” That’s changed.
For the overdose crisis, it’s not going to stop. People are going to use, they’re not going to stop. That’s the way it is. Maybe if we had an injection site where there is a nurse around, that could help out. Maybe more of us having a Narcan kit. I don’t know. And overdose is impacted by judgement. The judgement that because this person has an addiction problem, that they’re no good, worthless pieces of shit. Excuse my language. But it’s been going on for years, I don’t know how to change it. Every time I hear the ambulance, it scares the hell out of me because I’m thinking it is someone I know. I just lost a friend of mine four months ago. It’s horrible.
