Recovery is possible – each journey looks different for everyone

On My Way to Wellness – Produced by CAPSA Canada

Narrator:

I believe I’m on my way to Wellness.

Then some days I find that somehow, I’m headed in the wrong direction again even though I’ve been I’m doing my best to reroute my brain to have different responses to stress in my life.

Having a substance use disorder was never a conscious choice I made. They tell me it could be a result of trauma or genetics or something else. All I know is that I struggle to stop taking substances despite the negative consequences.

Of course I want to have a better life but I don’t know how long it will take me to get there or exactly what it will look like.

I’m just finding out some of the challenges I have. I know that some people make changes faster than others and that each person’s wellness looks different. Some people seem to get to their wellness place and stay there. Others come and go as their life unfolds.

Me, I keep hitting roadblocks on my way there. Sometimes I head in the completely wrong direction and need a full U-turn. Many people have stopped helping me when I do.

If only they remembered that addiction is a medical condition that affects my brain and decision-making and if only I remembered, I could hold a steadier path.

That’s one of the challenges I face. I want to reach my place of wellness as much as they want me to get there. I know that life there may be less unpredictable for me, and for them but telling me that I have to get there by a certain time or by a certain route doesn’t help. Imposing a deadline for arrival doesn’t mean I’ll meet it.

It just gives people a false sense of control and makes me wonder why they have criteria for showing compassion to a person with a medical condition. I don’t tell anyone who is ill what time they should get well by. I just hope they do and try to help them how ever they need help now.

I’ve seen people stopping to help drivers with a flat tire or an empty tank of gas. They stayed until help arrived to be sure the driver was safe and could get back on the road. There was no judgment or disappointment about driving over a nail or running out of gas.

I wish people would do the same for me when I hit bumps that slow me down or lose steam along the way. I wish people understood that finding my pathway to wellness will take me a lot longer if I’m walking alone.